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“Seattle Seahawks fans are loud!” and 7 other lies

I talk and write a lot about the Seattle Seahawks. So do tons of people. I’m happy everyone’s yapping about my favorite team, but sometimes we’re all full of sailboat fuel.

We say things like this:

#8 “The Seahawks don’t use drugs.”th-40

For the second time in two years, Brandon Browner will be suspended for violating the NFL substance abuse policy.

Last year, Richard Sherman failed a test at the same time Browner did, but his was thrown out on a testing technicality. This time, Browner’s taking his backup with him. Walter Thurmond will be suspended 4 games as well. So far no one has admitted to the details but don’t forget, they don’t have to disclose the substance according to league policy.

Does this make them the Legion of Oom?

#7 “The Seahawks’ schedule is the hardest in the NFL.”

I’ve used this stat a lot: #11 toughest schedule overall (based on last year’s wins and losses) and #2 on the road. Five 10AM road games. Eastern time zone. Blah-bitty-blah-blah.

The game we all worried about? Traveling to Atlanta again after they beat us in the playoffs last year. The Falcons that were 2-7 at the time? Beat them 33-10. What’s to fear?

Oh, the Houston Texans are Super Bowl contenders and we have to face them at home? Yeah, we almost fell down on that one, but not because the Texans were good. It was because Matt Schaub likes to watch the game from the bench, so he throws interceptions.

The teams we need to be concerned about? The Rams and Cardinals. I didn’t give them much respect heading into this year, but they both played us tough already and we get them again once more. Both teams could be in playoff contention and playing nasty ball at the end of the year.

#6 “Dave Krieg turned the ball over a lot.”

th-36Dave Krieg was quarterback of the Seahawks from 1980-91, turning them from nobody to a Super Bowl contender, but all anyone wants to talk about is fumbles. First of all, the NFL didn’t keep track of “fumbles lost” as a statistic until 1991. Weird but true. So of his 153 career fumbles, he only lost some of them.

And the dude played 213 games over 19 seasons. He’s handled the football more than almost anyone in league history. Dave is behind Warren Moon (161 fumbles in 208 games) and Brett Favre (166 in 302) in this category. One Hall-of-Famer and one soon to be.

And interceptions? 3.7% of 5311 career attempts for a total of 199. His contemporaries? Dan Marino: 3% of 8358 for 252. John Elway: 3.1% of 7250 for 226. Warren Moon: 3.4% of 6823 for 233. Dan Fouts: 4.5% of 5604 for 242. All in the Hall of Fame. And Brett Favre: 3.3% of 10169 for 336.

You can’t say my boy Dave Krieg was sloppy with the ball. You can say he was the best quarterback the Seahawks ever had until Matt Hasselbeck came along. You can also say he’s #12 all-time in passing touchdowns (261) and #15 in passing yards (38,147) yet is not in the Hall of Fame.

By the way, thanks Pro Football Reference.

#5 “The Seahawks had a great draft.”

#1 Pick: RB Christine Michael. I love watching him play because it’s always in a blowout. I like his future, but behind Marshawn Lynch and Robert Turbin, he’s getting no other time. He’ll be a great Seahawk one day, but I hope we never need him this year.

#2 Pick: DT Jordan Hill. 6 tackles and half a sack in 3 games played. Meanwhile, Seattle has often looked easy to run on. A defense that should be elite is giving up middle-of-the-league 112.9 yards.

#3 Pick: Cut by the Seahawks. Signed then cut by the 49ers. Currently a Packer without a catch yet.

#4 Pick: DT Jesse Williams. Rumors about his bad knees were true. He’s on Injured Reserve. As I mentioned, the middle of the defensive line is Seattle’s only defensive weak spot.

#5 Pick: CB Tharold Simon. Also on IR. At least our secondary ain’t bad.

#6 Pick: TE Luke Wilson. I love his potential, but he has not broken out yet. Zach Miller still gets much more playing time. Wilson has 12 catches all year without scoring.

#7 Pick: FB Spencer Ware. Played much of the year behind Derick Coleman. Now he’s on IR. Michael Robinson has returned to the team. Welcome back, Real Rob.

#8 Pick: G Ryan Seymour. On the practice squad.

#9 Pick: LB Ty Powell. Released by the Seahawks and then the Giants. Currently on the Bills’ practice squad.

#10 Pick: DT Jared Smith. Converted to guard. Currently on the practice squad but hurt.

#11 Pick: T Michael Bowie. The last one picked has had the most impact. Started and played well for Russell Okung. Filled in at guard and tackle.

And though I still love the long-term potential of the move, don’t forget we traded away the first round pick for Percy Harvin, who’s played in one game with one catch this year, however electrifying.

#4 “Matt Hasselbeck is a fantasy football genius.”

Back in 2009, Hasselbeck had a dilemma: start himself against the Jaguars or Brett Favre against the Rams. Favre had just smoked the Packers the week before, so Matt benches himself.

He proceeds to shut out the Jags 41-0, throwing four touchdowns and no picks while Favre throws one and one.

This makes for one of the best fantasy football lessons ever. If Matt can’t predict himself on his own fantasy team, how are we supposed to know the future?

Thanks for reminding me, Matthew Berry.

#3 “The Seahawks will lead the league in point differential.”

I said this myself when Seattle acquired Harvin. Looking back at the huge scores the Seahawks put up in weeks 14-16 last year, I imagined they’d be lighting it up this year.

I was almost right. Denver is ahead 12.7 to 11.5 PPG. They’re scoring at a record rate with 429 points so far. Seattle is not as explosive as I expected (yet) with 306, just ahead of New Orleans (305), Chicago (303) and Dallas (298).

#2 “CenturyLink Field is the loudest stadium in the NFL.”th-42

After years of notorious infamy, Seattle officially set the record September 16 of this year with 136.6 decibels. Kansas City took the title back October 13 with 137.5. I tip my hat, but who needs a decibel meter when you have a seismograph?

During Marshawn Lynch’s 67 yard TD run to ice the 2010 playoff victory against the Saints, Seattle’s crowd was measured on the richter scale.

Put that in your Guiness book and smoke it.

Bring that meter back this Monday for the Saints rematch. I’ll help. I have my own reputation. I once was cheering for the basketball team of my alma matter (Dominican College) so loud, the mother of one of our players on the court asked me to keep it down. Yes, please stop cheering for my son so loud.

#1 “The 49ers will compete for the NFC West championship.”

Sister, please. They might not make the playoffs. They need to look out for the Cardinals, who are looking nastier by the week. Both teams sit at 7-4 after San Francisco dismantled Washington. They looked strong, but RG3 and his Skins are looking hopeless.

The Cardinals and 49ers are one game behind Carolina in the Wild Card race. There’s only room for two.

Everyone was saying Colin Kaepernick would be side-by-side with Russell Wilson. But while Kaepernick was getting tatted in the off-season, Wilson was working out with his receivers. This is Kaepernick’s true freshman year. This is the first year opponents will be game-planned and ready for him. He’s being exposed as a runner with developing quarterback skills. Wilson is a quarterback and a leader who is also quick enough to get out of trouble.

We’ll come down to visit December 8 and we’ll settle this thing.

David Klenda, also known as Eighty Six, can be found at Eighty Six the Poet and on Twitter as 86ThePoet. He also writes for Bright Hub. Find his ebooks at Smashwords.

3 thoughts on ““Seattle Seahawks fans are loud!” and 7 other lies”

  1. There is no technicality ! Was Sherman guilty or not ? NOT !!!!!
    KC is a great place they also have almost 15,000 more seating capacity then the Clink- GO HAWKS !!!!!

    1. True. Not guilty. I believe Sherman is too smart to get caught. And Seahawks fans show up at the stadium to go to work. 12th man is their job.

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