Josh McCown Bears

The Creeper Report: a fantasy football love story

This has been the best year in the history of The Creepers Fantasy Football Franchise. Four teams. Four playoff appearances.

In my Euro League, I finished the season on a six game streak, going from 2-6 to 8-6 and just making the playoffs by tie-breaker. And like so many things in my life, I never could have done it without my wife.

So I creep, yeah. Just keep it on the down-low. Said nobody is supposed to know.

See, she was battling the fourth seed in the league. Had she not won, I wouldn’t have made it. A big day by Matt Forte helped her out. Josh McCown is the Euro Creepers’ savior. After struggling all year at quarterback, McCown brought some stability to the position.

So what does my wife receive?

Me in the playoffs. She beat me once in the regular season, putting me on latrine duty for a month. Don’t think I won’t try to get even. And if you think 6 straight wins makes me the hottest team in the league, think again.

Her Team Certik (which means “little devil” in Czech) is also riding a 6 game streak. She’s been running this league from the beginning and only has 2 losses. Blame it on equal parts my advice and ignoring me.

And the action starts tonight. She has Demaryius and Knowshon coming against me. I’m bringing potential Creeper of the Year Ladarius Green against her. And Ladarius, in the COY voting, playoff performance versus my spouse counts much, much more. I’m looking at you Keenan Allen and Bobby Rainey.

What about McCown?Jay Cutler Josh McCown Bears

Looks like just when I need McCown the most, Cutler’s coming back. Word is he’ll get the start, but fortunately he was available. So he’s on my bench plus Jason Campbell, starting an interesting debate.

Cutler or Campbell? This is a 16 team league, so QB talent has been at a premium all year. I wish I had better choices, but my seventh round pick was Michael Vick. So here we are.

Side by side, Cutler has more talent and better help. When he’s on, he’s a hell of a gunslinger. Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery are money together, with Matt Forte and Martellus Bennett being a great compliment.

Campbell, like McCown, has been a steady veteran taking care of the ball and throwing it accurately. His Josh Gordon and Cameron Jordan have been productive no matter who’s throwing the ball. He was going to get the start for me until I saw Cutler available.

Then, there are the defenses. Chicago has been hit hard by injuries and been uncharacteristically porous this year. Cleveland has been very stout with Joe Haden clamping down on whoever he is assigned to guard. Blanketing one Bear receiver, though, will get you burned by the other.

And then, there’s rust and the chance of re-injury. When Cutler’s off, he can be really bad, stricken by fumbleosis and poor-throwitis. He can be impatient and frazzled. I don’t know that Cutler’s head will stay in the game if things start bad. I’m not sure his ankle or groin will handle stress well on a cold day.

But Cutler is looking at free-agency next year. This game means everything to him. His next contract will be written on the back of this stat sheet. I think he does things right.

Decision: Cutler. I may waver a bit this week and I’ll be watching injury reports. If Cutler regresses in practice, I’m starting McCown if the Bears are.

What are your thoughts?

Defenses I Like

Atlanta versus Washington. The Pigskins are just my new favorite team to pick on. With RG3 watching, Kirk Cousins will be rusty. Rust means hesitation, which translates to sacks and interceptions. Cousins is playing for his career here, so I expect him to finish strong. But if you play defenses week-to-week like me, you could do worse here.

Philadelphia versus Minnesota. If Adrian Peterson is out. Philly should score quick inside in a dome (a relief after last week’s weather) and put pressure on Christian Ponder to throw. Without Peterson, he’ll be all on his lonely. Not a happy place.

Indianapolis versus Houston. I like picking on the Texans, too. I think they’re finishing flat and I expect Indy to start playing like a Division Champion. Just a case of good team playing bad team, but it usually works for me.

Philadelphia Detroit SnowWatch the Weather

I normally don’t talk much about kickers, but if you started David Akers for Detroit or Alex Henery for Philadelphia in the only NFL game without a kicking point in an epoch, you won’t do it again. Maybe I’m over-reacting, but I like Dan Carpenter kicking in sunny Jacksonville this week.

I was online. I was watching the TV. All the way until 10AM PST. No one told me Reggie Bush wouldn’t play on 3 of my teams. The announcers were surprised. I pity the fool who withheld this information. He’s just lucky I still went 3-1 and my only loss knocked me from #2 to #3, not affecting my playoff matchup at all.

Yet LeSean McCoy didn’t seem to mind the snow. Matthew Stafford did. If you’re wavering on this guy or that guy, the weather may break the tie. But don’t get cute and bench a stud because of a few flakes.

By the way, for San Diego at Denver tonight: looks like clear and cold with about 9mph winds. Good weather for kicking and throwing. I’m starting Nick Novak.

Creeper of the Week

Da’Rick Rogers. WR. Indianapolis. First of all, don’t try to be smart and pull out an unknown name in the playoffs. Live or die by the guys who got you there. But if injuries have you in a desperate place, here’s a flyer.

Rogers made 6 catches for 107 yards and two garbage-time touchdowns last week. The Colts looked dead against the Bengals until it was too late, then they started to accumulate fantasy stats like a frozen turd rolling down a ski-slope. He’s a 6-3, 208 pound rookie out of Tennessee Tech. Since Reggie Wayne went down, I’ve been waiting for someone to step up next to TY Hilton.

This late in the season, again, don’t try to be witty. But some name has to go here.

Your Creeper Limerick

Darling, I’m forever your love-clown,

But this week your team’s going down.

From 2-6, we Creep.

This team’s rolling deep

Whether Campbell, Cutler or McCown.

David Klenda, also known as Eighty Six, is Division Leader for the NFC West and AFC West. Find him at Eighty Six the Poet or on Twitter as 86ThePoet . He also writes for Bright Hub . Find his ebooks at Smashwords .

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